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Monthly Archives: September 2006

For my first post, I will post my most memorable experience I’ve had (and continue to have).

There is an infamous customer that many have come to know as Crazy Fitting Room Lady.

Now, the thing is, this lady comes only on my shift. ONLY. No one has ever had to deal with her. I have to deal with her on a pretty regular basis.

Here’s what happens: She comes in usually wearing a polo top, overly tight spandex pants and boots that go up about mid-calf. She has a black baby (not to be offensive) and there is a distinct reason this woman is with a black man; she has one of the biggest asses on a skinny frame that I have ever seen. Seriously. It’s no wonder this chick wears spandex pants…so it shows off this monumental butt. She’s also very young, probably 23 or 24 at the oldest.

So anyway, she is extremely friendly, but she seems a bit…off, so to speak. She’ll say something to you that’ll make you say, “Wait, what?”

Here is a conversation that we repeat, over and over again:
Me: Hello ma’am, do you need a room?
CFRL: No, I’ll just change her in this corner here.

Fitting Room Diagram
Now, the corner is indicated in the picture here. This corner is not concealed…in fact, it is right out in the open where everyone can see. She’ll generally strip her kid down so fast I can’t even stop her; it’s one minute, clothed baby…next, naked baby. Once she’s bustling around in the cart to yank out the 40+ items she wants the kid to try on, I try once again to assert myself.

Me: Ma’am, are you sure you don’t want a room?
CFRL: Oh yeah, I can handle her a lot better in this corner.
Me: But…the rooms have corners, ma’am.
CFRL: Yeah, but my daughter will crawl out from underneath the door and go running around in the nude.
Me: Oh, alright then.

So by this time, the lady has tried on a few outfits on the girl already. People are staring at her and then me, kind of giving me the look like “Well, if you don’t say it, then I will.” Once again, I initiate an attempt to get her into a room.

Me: Ma’am, the handicap stall is open if you would care to go in there. The door is a full door, so your daughter can’t crawl out and it’s a very large room, giving you the chance to keep tabs on her.
CFRL: Oh no, I can’t go in there, either.
Me: Why not?
CFRL: My daughter will open the door and run out.
Me: Can’t you simply step out and grab her? Your legs are a lot longer than hers. I’m sure you could catch her.
CFRL: Yeah, but then I’ll leave my purse in the room.

Now, she says this last sentence as if someone will run up and steal HER purse. Not the 90 year old lady’s purse sitting on one of the benches waiting for her granddaughter to come. Not the 5 year old little girl’s mother’s purse who’s waiting while her mom’s in the bathroom. Nope. It’s going to be HER purse, which you couldn’t even see when you first came in the fitting room area, much less go out of your way to steal in there. Again, a conversation starts up.

Me: Ma’am, I assure you, I could keep an eye on your purse for you if she ran out. I could even have one of our processors (people that put clothes back on the hangers properly after people have tried them on) hold it for you while you try things on for her.
CFRL: Oh no, one of them might steal my purse from me.
Me: They would be fired promptly if they did that.
CFRL: But my stuff would still be stolen.
Me: If they were arrested, ma’am, they wouldn’t have any of your items because they’d be confiscated.
CFRL: Yeah, but still, it’s the principle of the thing.

By this time, she’s managed to bang her kid’s head off of the benches several thousand times and shove all outfits on her. She gives me the ones she doesn’t want and then merrily waves goodbye. I smile and wave goodbye myself, knowing full well that she will be back in the room soon enough.

This entire speal happens EVERY TIME she’s in there. Every single time.

Oh wait, no, scratch that…there has been two times where she hasn’t. Both times she’s trying on things for herself. THEN she’ll go into the handicap stall. Really, isn’t there just as much risk of getting her purse “stolen” then as there is when trying things on her daughter? I leave that up to you to decide.

For now, we’ll all have to look at PG baby porn because the lady’s too crazy for me to convince otherwise.