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Monthly Archives: March 2007

Yeah, once again, very busy, especially with midterms and ANOTHER snowstorm that I had to shovel for. Additionally, we’re still revamping our store and such…lots going on. Oh well; to satisfy the hungry dogs you are, I’m going to throw you a bone. There is a breakout of Lemming Syndrome in our customers. It’s like they gather in groups and collaborate what to do all at once. Really, I believe in each and every one of you guys out there. You can definitely think for yourselves. If one person is an idiot, and you do the same things as them, then guess what? You’re an idiot, too! So be a leader, not a follower. The thing is, don’t be a stupid leader.

A fantastic example is outside of the fitting room. Now, from previous posts, you should’ve gotten the idea that the interior of the room itself is massive. The waiting area is sufficient to cram about 10 or 15 people into if necessary, with space down the hallways on either end and the bathroom area. Get the idea? It’s big. So why is it that so many of our customers insist on waiting outside of the huge ass doorway that says “Dressing Rooms”? I mean, first, you look pretty dumb not walking right in, and second…you make others wait behind you. Other more beligerent and annoying customers that at least get it right on the first time and now how to walk up to me and say “I NEED A ROOM.”

Then again, there are times when customers can be so frickin’ annoying with their persistence. Most of the time, when things go smoothly, people acknowledge me one at a time and then follow me accordingly unless I say otherwise. Sounds simple enough, right? You overestimate the power of intelligence around here. That is the minority of occurances; most of the time it’s a jumbled mass of confusion, but not because of what I do. Get the hint? Wait your damn turn. If you are looking to try stuff on, gauge your time accordingly. Don’t just rush in and try to find something. If you’re in a rush, it’s your own fault for waiting so long to get some piece of clothing. And really, if you’re in that much of a rush, do you NEED to try things on? Really, even if you wore it once, you could bring it back. Don’t trouble me with your petty bullshit. You nor I have the patience for it.

Anywho, back to what I was saying…wait. I do my best to make things easy for all of us except making theft easy for you…I try to avoid that on occasion. So when I’m helping, please, let me help you, not MAKE me help you. I can’t count the number of times people have just waltzed along with other customers. I let in the first person because they actually listened, and I smile at them and get them situated. I turn around, and I see some woman that you just KNOW is irritable. C’mon…you HAVE to know what I’m talking about. You know…really skinny, mousy face, and the telltale sign of super short hair cut “fashionably.” I will warn you…if you ever see a person like this, do NOT mess with them; not for fear of getting hurt or anything, but they are just so goddamn annoying you’d rather get several root canals than put up with them. So anyway, they’ll stand right behind me and look at me expectantly. No sign of what they want. No words. Nothing.

“Can I help you?” Uhh, like perhaps install a brain for you?

“Tsk…I NEED a ROOM.”

I’m glad I keep my anger under control, because statements like this usually warrant a punch in the face. These people also tend to link with another tendency, which is MDC or Mistaken Door Complex. I often will put a tag on a door because they fall off so easily to let me know someone is in there. Many people see this and will make a beeline for this door. Doesn’t matter what’s in the way…seeing eye dogs, small children, a person that is blind deaf and dumb…they will knock it all over to get to this door. And often times, my shouts of “NO, NO THIS DOOR DOWN HERE” go ignored; they will jiggle the handle until they realize “HEY, THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT DOOR!!” and is probably followed by the thought “WHY DIDN’T THAT ASSHOLE TELL ME?!”

Well, that’s because I contracted Assholism a loooooong time ago. See my previous post to figure out what Assholism is. But in truth, this time, I’m not being an asshole. You’re just an idiot.

Also pertaining to my last post, DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING CLOTHES WHERE THEY DON’T BELONG. Just because one moron was too impatient to wait 5 seconds for me to run up and take the clothes from them doesn’t mean you have to join the club. Really, it’s not all that fabulous…sure, you get the benefit of trying to be an “independant thinker” just like everyone else, but in truth, your brain cells lessen each time you do something like that. They don’t even have a membership card or package! Pfft! Who wants to be part of a club like that?

Another thing…our racks of processing are NOT to shop through. Don’t go to our damn processing area and start digging through it because you got pissed that there’s ONE pair of leggings for your daughter in the store and you couldn’t find it. First of all, she doesn’t need to look whorish in leggings, especially at age 10. Second, she probably doesn’t care. You’re just a pompous ass. I mean, really, what are you trying to do? You’re LOOKING for a reason to spend more money. Granted, it’s only $2.97, but with that in mind, isn’t it even more pointless? How often do you waste time looking to spend three bucks for no real reason? Are you just trying to disprove our ability to the masses? Are you hoping to shout at the top of your lungs while running through the store with your size 12 jeans you were trying so damn hard to find and proclaim “DON’T TRUST THE EMPLOYEES!! I FOUND SOMETHING BEFORE THEY DID AND/OR SAID THEY DIDN’T HAVE!!”? We work here; I’m pretty sure everyone is still going to trust our abilities and stick with asking us for help. Face it, you’re not gonna be the Che Guverra of Fashion and start a huge revolution because of your searching abilities.

Trust me, there will be good posts to come. I mean, the Bra and Panties Saga wasn’t exactly bad now, was it? Terrifying, yes…but not bad. It’s just that people have a very self serving attitude, and I feel the need to cut them down to size. Anywho, I’ll post early next week…hopefully with something good!

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