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Monthly Archives: July 2007

Busy busy busy. Never seems to stop for me. This blog won’t stop for a while, either. It’s odd to think it’s almost a year since I started it. Anyway, on to stories.

I get cocky customers in the fitting room all the time. It’s in human nature to think you’re better than the lowly peon that works to present clothing to you. You could go into any store…not just ours…and see this process. People are determined to prove us wrong constantly or think we’re stupid or something. I still fail to see the connection between working in retail for a job and stupidity, but I guess our customers would definitely see it before us. I mean, I know I’m dumb now thanks to them; all my efforts to read War and Peace I now know were in vain. I guess there’s a clause in our contract that says we’re supposed to be treated like shit just because we work there. I don’t know. Moving on…

I encountered a woman and two daughters last week who came in about 20 minutes before close. They had a cartload of stuff, and it’s common ground to just leave them go into a room and do their own thing. I’ll be damned about LP, I am NOT counting all of their goddamn items for them. Have you ever seen a smile slide off of someone’s face? It’s depressing and aggravating, isn’t it? Kinda like “What the hell did I ever do to you?” sort of thing. Well, that’s EXACTLY what happened when this woman came in. She was laughing like an idiot right outside the fitting room, but she looked at me, and I saw the smile slip right off. I could already tell she didn’t like me…and I didn’t want to put up with her for too long.

Before I get too far into my rant, let me just say that this woman’s body composition was hilarious. It was like she was an action figure or something. Her upper body up until where her shirt ended was relatively thin, but where her pants met her shirt, WHOA MOMMA did that change. Her hips, ass, and legs were HUGE. They were by no means fat…on the contrary, they looked relatively normal. Normal for the Hulk. On steroids. I didn’t say anything because who knows…maybe she was She-Hulk in disguise.

Anyway, they go in the room and bang and thump around for a while. After about 10 minutes of this, the mother darts out, and grabs some more bathing suits. Doesn’t say two words to me. About 5 minutes later, she does it again, and I offer to help get her whatever she needs. She ignores me. Again. My patience is being tried. Actually, no, I just went riproaring into getting pissed off.

Finally, the next time she comes out…again, 5 minutes later…I block her, and talk to her directly in the face. I am already agitated. We’re closed already, and they’re the only ones left. I simply say “I’m here to help ma’am. Please, tell me what you need.” She scoffs, walks around me, and says “Nothing.” Not even an excuse me, no thanks, or even a kind “Fuck off.” What a bitch.

Finally, the woman and daughters each leave with a bathing suit top each. Yes. One top. Each. Not even bottoms…but I guess the mother didn’t want to bring attention to hers or something I doubt we had a size big enough to fit her ass. I was standing not 2 feet away from them when they left, so I asked them if there was anything they did not want so I could take it back. The mother, being the bitch she was, didn’t have the heart to respond, and just blew past me. At least one of the daughters told me there was “some stuff” in the room.

To say “some stuff” was an understatement. We have six little hooks (I believe) in the room that you can hang your stuff on. Each one of which had at least TEN BATHING SUITS. You read right. That’s over sixty bathing suits from these three girls. There were so many, we literally filled an entire extended rolling rack (about six feet long) with the damn things. IT IS NOT WITHIN THE MENTAL CAPACITY OF A NORMAL HUMAN BEING TO THINK YOU NEED TO TRY ON EVERY BATHING SUIT IN A STORE YOU ENTER…SEVERAL TIMES OVER.

That’s not the worst of it, though…the icing on the cake was the fact that THEY LEFT AN ENTIRE CARTLOAD OF BATHING SUITS, TOO. I’ll just let that sink in for a second. Women are certainly picky when it comes to clothing…and rightfully so, based on the selection of stuff they have. But there is no viable reason you can give me…none…that would justify trying on that many bathing suits. None at all.

Now get this…they come back the next week. All of them. WITH MORE FUCKING BATHING SUITS.


You’re serious, right?

As in not joking?

Yup. 3 more hooks worth of bathing suits, going on the principle of 10 bathing suits per hook.

They execute the same gameplan…hate me right off, ignore my inquiries for help, and just be general assholes. After about 20 minutes (again, right up till close), they leave with nothing. Nothing in their hands. I don’t care if they stole, they didn’t even make an attempt to buy anything. What, is there a certain ratio or something you need to hit before you can actually purchase one? Like 80:1? What the hell is wrong with these people?

Fortunately enough, they haven’t been back to visit…yet…but I simply dread the upcoming back-to-school sales we’ll be having. The girls were both pretty young, so I’d assume they’re going to be back to try on school uniform stuff or something like that.

I hate to think how many pairs of uniform khakis they’ll leave me…