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Monthly Archives: October 2007

Sorry as always. 20 credits this semester. I don’t think I need much more of an explanation than that.Anyway, on to today’s topic.

Tact is merely a word that means one’s ability to smoothly handle a situation. Usually this situation is a pressured one or unexpected. One who is tactful can easily think their way out of a situation while keeping their cool and making themselves seem confident.

Sadly, our customers must have missed Tact 101 in school.

As in most places, we’ve adopted the policy of taking people’s clothes from them and hanging them in the rooms now to prevent theft. It’s a clever measure; I have seen a dramatic lessening of found price tags scattered about the floor since I started to try and do it for every customer. Some people actually thank me for doing it. They believe it is a luxury, and in truth, it is. How many places will they take the time to dig through their shopping bag or massive cartload of stuff and offer to hang up their clothes in a neat and organized manner?

Well, if you thought of one, go screw yourself because you shop too much. I can only think of one other place offhand.

As you well imagine, this also weeds out of would-be criminals in our store. Now some people can fake it very well, and make it seem like they’re happy or alright with our hanging the clothes in the rooms for them, regardless of whether they are or not.

Others are much more simple than that. In the head.

One woman had three items. It was two sweaters and another shirt, a men’s polo shirt. She had the “other shirt” tucked underneath hers and tried to say “I have two items.” I merely said “Here, let me take those for you, and I’ll get you set up with a room.”Immediately, this woman’s face drops. You can tell she’s panicking but doesn’t want to show it. I lead her down to the next available room. I open the door, lay down her THREE items, and have a conversation similar to the following:

  • Me: Here you are ma’am…you had three items, by the way.
  • Lady: Three? No, I had two.
  • Me: (I picked up the three items again and shook them) No ma’am…there are three.
  • Lady: Oh goodness, who put that in there? (She asked this as a rhetorical question. Did she think I did it?)
  • Me: I’m not sure ma’am.

At this point, you can tell she’s still trying to think of an excuse to get the shirt away from herself so she doesn’t get “caught.” She already was…just didn’t realize it, I guess.

  • Lady: Ohhhhhhhhh (this is one of those “Oh fuck, I flushed my cell phone down the toilet” type of Ohs.)! I remember now! I picked this up for my husband! (She had no wedding ring, by the way). But y’know what…y’know…wha–I don’t want this anymore. Yeah. No, I don’t want it…it’s too expensive (the shirt was on clearance for $2.97). I’ll just get it some other time. Would you mind taking it for me? Thanks!

She throws the shirt at me, throws on a fake ass smile that seems genuine but isn’t, and slams the door.Yeah, tact…reallllly smooth. She didn’t even let me get two words out!

Another woman was even more of an idiot than the first one. She has ONE exceptionally bulky t-shirt and just says “One” when she walks in the room. She’s already nervous and twitchy…like your dog when he knows it’s medication time. I say “Here, let me take that for you and get you a room.”

Now, before I say what happened, let me first say…SHE HANDED THE “SHIRT” RIGHT TO ME. I REACHED OUT MY HANDS, AND SHE HANDED IT TO ME.

Anyway, she obviously had more items in the shirt. Any idiot could see that. I went to put the shirt down on the bench in the room, and 9 pairs of leggings falls out of it.No exaggeration. Nine pairs. All the same size. All the same color.

I recovered quickly by saying “Goodness, getting that fall shopping out of the way early, huh?”She looked horrified…almost as if I had killed her mother. Seriously. This is how freaked out the woman was.

I asked “Are you trying some on? I’ll just put the others on the bench here and you can take them when you leave.”

Again, no verbal response. She gave a quick jerk of the head to confirm it, went in and closed the door.

The best part? She was in there 20 minutes. TWENTY. FUCKING. MINUTES. Reason? I went to the bathroom 20 minutes later, and she sneaked out of the room. Left the “shirt”, the leggings she had and the eight others on the bench.

Smooth…really smooth.

Last customer was even more fun. She comes in with a stroller…her little boy is sitting inside, and she has 3 of our kid’s Halloween costumes in her hand. She seemed to imply that they were three different sizes, so I took them for her, and put her in the handicapped stall. I laid the costumes on the bench, and she smiled at me.

As a form of my own tact, though, I decided to go unorthodox. I opened the costumes for her so she could more easily get her kid into them.

The look on her face was priceless.

Laying in each of the three costumes are 4 different outfits (some consisting of some pricey elements) stacked in such a way that it was as if the clothing was wearing the costume. I reared back and gave a little “Oh!” and looked to the mother for an explanation. She kinda laughed nervously, then put on a serious face. The woman was on the verge of a breakdown.

I merely stated “Oh, I see you’ve got a few extras here. That’s alright, I’ll just put them out for you, as well.”I did so in about a minute. I turned around, and the woman was gone. Entirely from the store.

Tact…goes down smooth.

Post again soon. Sorry it was short, but I’m burning myself out here…just a smidge tired, you see. Haha.